Growing Pains Or A Toxic Situation?

How do you know when you’re throwing in the towel due to fear or courageously choosing your peace and happiness?

This is what I’ve been trying to decipher for the past few weeks. As some of you may have realized, I have been really MIA on my platforms recently – and not very pleased about it either. It hasn’t been the easiest time for me and I’ve been having a hard time balancing everything that is life.

Late last year to the beginning of this year, I had been feeling so fired up about my endeavours, finding myself and my calling and just securing my happiness and balance. Then, of course, life looked me dead in the eyes, laughed and threw me out of the bliss.

My response? An angry, complaining Simone – I responded terribly. To be quite frank, I still hold the same sentiments but maybe to a lesser degree. I’d come to a point in my life where I refused to compromise my happiness and drive for my passions – and rightfully so. I developed severe tunnel vision for my passions, totally disregarding the process. As a result, I felt as though my pursuits were being placed on a back burner but here are some realities I’ve come to terms with:

YOU CANNOT RUN FROM LIFE’S PROBLEMS

I use to have this awful habit as a kid where I would join different activities in school and when I grew tired of them or felt it became too challenging for me, I’d drop out. Yup! Not something I am proud of because I’ve seen how it affected me later on in life. Even though I eventually learnt to practice resilience, it’s sometimes a struggle to fully apply that same energy in other aspects of my life.

Being out of your comfort zone is always a bit scary but running from life’s struggles out of fear can hinder your development, snowballing into even bigger issues later on. This makes the process of learning a lot more painful than it should be. Recently, I’ve been trying to push myself to grow out of that.

Listen! Growing pains are real but DO NOT RUN FROM LIFE’S PROBLEMS ! You’re only hurting yourself more in the long run.

THERE IS ALWAYS A LESSON TO BE LEARNT FROM ALL THE MESS

In every obstacle of life, even the messiest of them, there is a valid lesson to be learnt. I’ve had to face this reality so many times in my life. Life lessons give us the opportunity to build our character and grow in a plethora of ways. For the next obstacle that presents itself, instead of complaining like I did, zero in on any opportunity to learn.

PLAYING THE VICTIM ISN’T CUTE

Everyone goes through their fair share of struggle, it’s not just you. The reality of it all is that no one and nothing can take away your happiness, unless you allow them to. Yes, at first, you will feel down about whatever struggles you are facing and it may really suck but there is no need to go on and on complaining to everyone, long after the fact. It does no good and trust me, I would know because I was guilty of this very thing. It drains you in every aspect, leaving you less than zealous to do anything that actually brings you joy. Don’t allow this to be you. Secure your happiness, whatever that means for you.

A ROUGH SEASON PREPARES YOU FOR THE NEXT SEASON

I strongly believe that everything, big and small, happens for a reason. Looking back on past obstacles in my life, I can definately see that, had I not battled through them, I would have never been able to handle the proceeding season of my life. I was angry when I was hit with sudden unpleasant life changes because I felt as though I was putting my passions aside again. However, not every discomfort should automatically be deemed as an inhibition to the achievement of our goals or an undermining of our happiness . In hindsight, it may be a gateway through which we will be able to get that much closer to what was always meant for us. When the end of that struggle season comes – and it always does – you’re more than ready to receive and enjoy the blessings that were awaiting you!

To be real, I am still trying to discern whether this season of my life is testing my courage to secure my happiness or another lesson of strength and resilience. What I do know is that either way, it will make me stronger. Some things come into our lives and are toxic from the beginning, stealing our happiness and peace of mind – in which case we should definately take the nearest exit because issa NO! – but not everything is out to get us. It may just appear toxic because we are responding negatively and allowing that situation to steal our joy. Maybe it just requires time, patience and a change in perspective to allow that opportunity for growth.

It’s also important to remain self aware because it is easy to fall into complacency. If you find yourself becoming comfortable in what was meant to be for a temporary season, then it’s time to get up and get going. We aren’t supposed to overstay our welcome in a particular season. At the end of the day, we all have a calling/ purpose. If you aren’t growing and ACTIVELY working on or towards discovering that, with what life presents to you, then what is the point?


What has your most recent life struggle taught you?  Comment below, let’s help each other grow!

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As always, to God’s blessings, prosperity, faith, happiness and love!

Simone Inspires
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2 Comments Add yours

  1. nerobenoit says:

    Awesome and very relatable post again Simone! May I also add that this not only applies in periods of endurance under unfavorable terms but it also resonates in moments when we chase dreams for our pursuit of happiness.

    I’ll give a real life example. I’m an avid Real Madrid fan and I’ve been wanting to see them play live for as long as I could remember. For one reason or another there was always something keeping me back or preventing me from pursuing that dream. I can happily say that I have been able to tick that off my bucket list and that it was a life changing experience.

    However through that period I also learnt some lessons. I was able to reinforce the concept of fiscal discipline and saving. I overcame some fears such as travelling on my own, much less to a foreign speaking country (destination was Spain) and by extension I also discovered several capacities of myself which I found to be limitless once I truly applied myself and put my mind to overcoming all barriers.

    It is definitely true that perspective plays a huge role also on whether we are experiencing growing pains or a toxic situation. When I wasn’t having my way and my long desired trip to Madrid was continuously delayed and push back year after year it did truly feel like a toxic situation. However after achieving what I seeked for so many years, in hindsight, I can definitely see the results of the growing pains.

    Truly enjoyed your article Simone! Keep it up! 👌🏾

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Taking such a leap of faith and practicing discipline is an inspiration in itself. I’m so proud of you 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

      I’m also glad you found the article relatable and hope that it helps you in some way as you go grow & go through the motions of your life. I agree with your point on remembering these principles even after we have come out of the struggle season. Sometimes it is so easy to take things for granted or become complacent within a certain season. Life always has a way of bringing us back to reality and showing us that we don’t know it all and that’s okay.

      May we all grow together, find our purpose and do our part but also allow God to do His thang in our lives as well. Many blessings to you Adrian and thank you for your consistent and unwavering support 💛🤗🙏🏽🍃🌻

      Liked by 1 person

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